Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"Do you mean ter tell me,"he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?"Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad."I know some things,"he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."

"He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark."

"Fred, you next,"the plump woman said. "I'm not Fred, I'm George,"said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?""Sorry, George, dear.""Only joking, I am Fred,"said the boy and off he went."

"So light a fire!"Harry choked. "Yes...of course...but there's no wood!"... "HAVE YOU GONE MAD!"Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!"

"As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them."