#humor

"have i gone mad?im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are."

"Just because I flap my arms, that doesn’t make me a bird. No, I’m a bird because I believe myself to be. That’s the power of faith."

"I can talk to fish!"Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner,"Fang said, joining us."

"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."

"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?"she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."

"There are never enough 'I love you's."

"Trickeries, Sophistries and Traps [10w] Life's great irony is that we, the trapped,set traps."

"I knew I could do it all this time,” said Harry, “Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?"

"Pun vs. Puny [10w] + {Couplet} "His penis was a pun,judging by the predictable groans.The hours set by innuendos,the seconds by the moans."

"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."

"There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about."

"Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening."

"Don’t call me babe. I’m not a floozy. Or a freaking talking pig."

"If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"

"It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal."

"Yeah, the whole family knows. It's no big deal. One night at dinner I said, 'Mom, you know the forbidden love that Spock has for Kirk? Well, me too.' It was easier for her to understand that way."

"The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it."

"I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more."

"Poetry and Love [10w] Poetry and love are two faces of the same coin."