Before I die, I want to change my name to "Here,"so that my... - Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.

"Before I die, I want to change my name to "Here,"so that my tombstone could simply read, "Here lies."And then people who knew me could walk by, shake their head, and say, "Ain't that the truth."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.

"I want to be a creature that’s half bee, half the letter B. That way I can pollinate the world with my literacy."
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"I want to be asexual, because then I could be more productive. But not reproductive."
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"I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red."
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"In a brave and noble way, I want to sacrifice my life one day so that two of my clones can live."
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