GPS for Sin "You've entered the point of no return;Re-cal-cu... - Beryl Dov

"Masochist [10w] A masochist goes to massage parlor seeking a tragic ending."

"Life Imprisonment with No Possibility of Parole [10w] "The needle is preferable to three hots and a cot."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Pun vs. Puny [10w] + {Couplet} "His penis was a pun,judging by the predictable groans.The hours set by innuendos,the seconds by the moans."