More quotes by Robert Orben

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
"President Ford used humor a great deal."
"Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years."
"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."