humor

"You can defeat fear through humor, through pain, through honesty, bravery, intuition, and through love in the truest sense."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"If the blood humor is too strong and robust, calm it with balance and harmony."

"Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads."

"How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all."

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."

"A telkhine was hunched over a console, but he was so involved with his work, he didn't notice us. He was about five feet tall, with slick black seal fur and stubby little feet. He had the head of a Doberman, but his clawed hands were almost human. He growled and muttered as he tapped on his keyboard. Maybe he was messaging his friends on uglyface.com."

"I've been encouraging documentary filmmakers to use more and more humor, and they're loath to do that because they think if it's a documentary it has to be deadly serious - it has to be like medicine that you're supposed to take. And I think it's what keeps the mass audience from going to documentaries."

"When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’ll have to ask The Professor, and read his notes on my performance."

"If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you."

"Look on the bright side,"said Simon, "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway."

"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."

"As soon as you cross the county line into where all the wealthier people live, the weather is suddenly sunnier and warmer. Even at night."

"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."

"My mom taught me the power of love. I learned to focus on the long-term big picture from my father. His sense of humor and light-hearted approach always make me smile. My husband is a pivotal anchor in my life. His influence encourages me to be independent and take risks."

"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

"Once the others were below, Hazel and Leo faced each other awkwardly. They were alone except for Coach Hedge, who was back on the quarterdeck singing the Pokémon theme song. The coach had changed the words to: Gotta Kill ’Em All, and Leo really didn’t want to know why."

"My heart is spinning. Love is a tornado. Will you be my Kansas?"