More quotes by Beryl Dov

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."
"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."
"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."
"Who Am I "I don't know who I am whenI'm not the person who loves you."
"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."