"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."
"Bespeckled Heroes [10w] Great heroes in 100 years become statues speckled with birdshit."
"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."
"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."
"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."
"A Loaf of Challah Haiku A loaf of challah,a bottle of Rashi wine...For everything else there's Simply Manischewitz."