"You think maybe if you just work harder and faster, you can hold off the chaos, but then one day you’re changing a patio light bulb with a five-year life span and you realize how you’ll only be changing this light maybe ten more times before you’ll be dead."
"It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die."
"Me with nothing left to lose, plotting my big revenge in the spotlight. Give me violent revenge fantasies as a coping mechanism."
"We just had a near-life experience!"
"If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes."
"You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm."