#coming-of-age

"I look out into the water and up deep into the stars. I beg the sparkling lanterns of light to cure me of myself — my past and the kaleidoscope of mistakes, failures and wrong turns that have stacked unbearable regret upon my shoulders."

"Something, somewhere, knows what’s best for me and promises to keep sending me people and experiences to light my way as long as I live in gratitude and keep paying attention to the signs."

"I know that your soul is on life support and that you feel lost and like you’re completely spinning out of control, but you’re finding yourself — here, tonight… even in this darkness."

"I wanted to have a good relationship. One that's romantic and dramatic, like in the movies. But I finally became a woman at 17 and learned that men aren't really that simple."

"Whose little boy are you?"

"I’m going to follow this invisible red thread until I find myself again… until I finally figure out… who I’m meant to be."

"If ever I was running, it was towards you."

"Do you think we can be friends?” I asked.He stared up at the ceiling. “Probably not, but we can pretend."

"I want to be the best version of myself for anyone who is going to someday walk into my life and need someone to love them beyond reason."

"I’ve grown up defined by this desperate, undeniable, ‘can’t breathe’ kind of space inside of myself and I’m afraid that the diagnosis is fatal."

"High school will probably be better. I mean, some kids will still be jerks, but it's not so bad if you have at least one good friend. Someone who gets you."

"I feel a resurgence of my 6-year-old self… that little warrior, goddess of a girl reminding me of who I was when I was little, before the world got its hands on me."

"I can do this… I can start over. I can save my own life and I’m never going to be alone as long as I have stars to wish on and people to still love."

"I caught his hand. “What do you want me to do?”Leaning down, he kissed the pulse beating on my neck just above the damaged skin. “Tomorrow, I need you to die."

"Does our purpose on Earth directly link to the people whom we end up meeting? Are our relationships and experiences actually the required dots that connect and then lead us to our ultimate destinies?"

"I had not expected the gentle, tentative surge of gratitude I began to feel...for St. Paul's School, the spring, and the early morning. I needed the morning light and the warbling birds. I needed to find a way to live in this place for a moment and get the good of it. I had tried to hold myself apart, and the aloneness proved more terrible than what I had tried to escape."

"Vane grabbed me. “DuLac, let’s chat.”Chat. British-speak for “Stand still while I yell at you."

"The one thing I do remember is that as I retraced my steps through all the familiar streets of my life, Inow felt completely lost."

"I fantasize the night sky to be like a cosmic blue print of my life as I close my eyes and unbutton my heart…. just in case anyone up there is listening."

"I met a boy whose eyes showed me that the past, present and future were all the same thing."