"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."
"Breaking with Tradition is Tradition You can take the poem outside of tradition,but you can't take tradition out of the poem."
"The Great Blue of the Great Blue A Great Blue whale mourns her hunted mate.Her heart, once the size of an SUV,lonely rides the empty sea,her heart's now withered to subcompact class,her whys and wherefores, run out of gas."
"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."
"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."
"Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil."