More quotes by Beryl Dov

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."
"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."
"Gays & Lesbians Birds of a feather fuck together."
"Family {Couplet} For my misery, family brings relief,tripling my joy, halving my grief.This aesthetic arithmetic's quite poetic,an accounting surmounting odds unsympathetic.Now there seems no hardship I cannot withstand,accompanied by my exponential, familial band."
"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."