Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out... - Beryl Dov

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"What Women Want [10w] What women want is a feeling of security with abs."

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."