"Her love used to be my lighthouse, and now it feels like I'm treading water in the dark. I’ll bet as soon as I start swimming, the sun will rise and color the sky with the romance of rose."
"I belong, and my penis, it be long."
"I curse in cursive. It's hard to read and harder take. But if you take it black, like coffee, then at least it may wake you up to the realities of life."
"I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning."
"I’m just going to keep plugging away until I find success—or an electrical socket that works. This is the secret to gaining worldly power."
"Go sip on gossip, and leave the coffee talk for me to chug. I’ll be in the kitchen, giggling like a schoolgirl if you need me."