More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours."
"I must be a great leader because many people follow me. Most of the people are police officers, if that gives you any indication of my character."
"Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff."
"If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs)."
"Hoping to win the lottery to escape your existence is like waiting on a unicorn to give you a ride out of town. If you’re interested, I’m selling saddles."