I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when... - Chris Rock

"A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

"You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years."

"I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."