More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."
"Pepperonis are like edible polkadots. I made you a pizza dress, but I’m ashamed to admit I burned it. I’m afraid you’ll have to dance naked."
"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle."