I should open up a dry cleaners/pizza parlor. Extra Stain Sa... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Every day I think today could be my last day. My only fear is dying without telling her I love her one more time. All I pray for is one more time."

"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. I would pour you a large glass of Michael Phelps, but I don’t have that much water."

"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"My mother-in-law got so angry at me she vowed she’d never speak to me again, and I smiled and gave thanks for the little miracle God worked in my life."