"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love."
"App idea: in real time track trends as swarms of keywords form, and use this data to invest in the next unicorn #startup.You'll be able to ride that #startup unicorn like you are Billy the Kid, as you watch your profits shoot up."
"I’d fight for your love like I’m Tyler Durden. I want you to hit on me as hard as you can."
"The sides of buildings should be like the tops of lakes. I’d fish through your window hoping to catch a smile."
"I said I made a special trip to get her favorite item, because it sounded more romantic than admitting I randomly had it already. Now that’s love."