"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."
"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."
"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."
"Spooning [10w] Love means tasting her spaghetti sauce on a wooden spoon."
"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. [10w] + {Couplet} Network TV's insistent stupidity to the Outer Limits pushes me."
"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."