"Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well."
"I didn't tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You're a woman. Now die."
"Headline?"he asked."'Swing Set Needs Home,'"I said."'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'"he said."'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'"I said."
"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things."
"You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice."
"Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal"