"Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me. Still, I think I’d much rather wash my hands and be done with it."
"I’ll wear a maze on a necklace, dangling over my chest, because if you want to get at my heart, you have to be ready to lose yourself."
"Grandpa often tells me I dance like my legs are engulfed in flames. I just go out there and put the fire of desire in women’s hearts."
"Be mindful and heartempty, because you've got no love left in it due to you having given it all away."
"To wait on love is to tie a weight on your heart and slowly drown. Why sink when you can fly by freely giving love away?"
"There’s nothing more important than literary merit, and that’s why I not only created an award—the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award—but I nominated myself as the first recipient. You can’t always wait for success to come to you. Sometimes you just have to create it out of nothingness. Just ask the Federal Reserve."