"Love is a bronze statue sinking in quicksand. But if I hand you a lasso, will you try to save the statue—or use the lasso to hang yourself? If you need me, I’ll be here to kick the chair out from under your feet."
"Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I make love like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions."
"Love is like a river flowing through your heart. I’ll bring the boat, if you bring the bridge."
"Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose."
"Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast."
"Love is a bronze statue sinking in quicksand. But if I hand you a lasso, will you try to save the statue—or use the lasso to hang yourself? If you need me, I’ll be here to kick the chair out from under your feet."