Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. - Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

"No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."