Mark Twain

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."