More quotes by George Carlin, Brain Droppings

"It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes."
"I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think."
"THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."
"If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked."