More quotes by George Carlin, Brain Droppings

"I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think."
"If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked."
"THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."
"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."