More quotes by George Carlin, Brain Droppings

"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."
"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."
"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."
"It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes."
"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."