"The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable."
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."
"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."
"Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull."
"Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing."
"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."