A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a bl... - H.L. Mencken

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."

"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."

"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

"The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable."

"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."