"The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable."
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."
"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."
"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."
"You never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something."
"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."