More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Xazaqazax

"I always thought it was Mo Be Dick. I know Mo, and he is a dick."
"I bought a faucet, but water wasn’t included. That’s like when you buy my love—it’s dirty and used, but soap isn’t included."
"If my favorite three letters are X, Z, and Q, then my favorite word is Xazaqazax. It means “a lover of love."
"When I compete, I leave it all on the table. That's my philosophy for the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Do you know what's in those things? Gross!"
"As a fan of Agatha Christie, I think a brilliant mystery novel would be trying to identify the meat contents in a McDonald’s hamburger."