More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Xazaqazax

"A scaly lizard in soapy water makes a great scrubber. I’d wash my hands of her, if I didn’t enjoy being treated like a dishrag so much."
"The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent."
"As a fan of Agatha Christie, I think a brilliant mystery novel would be trying to identify the meat contents in a McDonald’s hamburger."
"When I compete, I leave it all on the table. That's my philosophy for the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Do you know what's in those things? Gross!"
"I always thought it was Mo Be Dick. I know Mo, and he is a dick."