More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Xazaqazax

"They should make cell phones that are dishwasher safe. My cup runneth over—especially since both our drinks are in one glass because I’m too lazy to load the shotgun."
"I bought a faucet, but water wasn’t included. That’s like when you buy my love—it’s dirty and used, but soap isn’t included."
"I bought a faucet, but water wasn’t included. That’s like when you buy my love—it’s dirty and used, but soap isn’t included."
"If my favorite three letters are X, Z, and Q, then my favorite word is Xazaqazax. It means “a lover of love."
"The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent."