The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine... - H.L. Mencken

"If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder."

"The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians."

"The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable."

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."

"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."