They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes.... - Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"When red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love."

"With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."