Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony

"Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"

"No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world."

"What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?"