A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to dri... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."
"If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I’d store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I’d eat them all at one sitting."
"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"
"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."
"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."
"You can never be too early to stand around and wait. You can have a seat in this chair, after I cinch the noose around my neck and you kick it out from under my legs."