"Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?""Only from ugly people,"Jace confided. "The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."He winked at the girls, who giggled and hid behind their hair."
"Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it."
"Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?""If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked."
"I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored"
"That sounds terrific, thought Cary, just you, your comatose wife your shell-shocked son, and your daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion."
"Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.""At least you know he's still available."