"I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone."
"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."
"I am my own love story. And I want to tell my love story, from the inside. Just add water and stir."
"You know, if a waitress asks me if I want ketchup with my fries, I’ll reply, “No thanks, I’ll just drink water.” And that’s not just a statement about table etiquette; it’s a personal quote that accurately reflects my moral and philosophical belief system."
"If you share your soup, I’ll share my wisdom. I brought a spoon, but did you bring a pen? How are you going to take notes, you fool!"