I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silen... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I am the Love Ventriloquist. And if you say I’m not, I’ll say it so it sounds like you said I am."

"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."

"When I’m in a relationship, I love like a burrito. And if you’re a taco, don’t talk to me. At our core we may seem similar, but trust me, we are two different items on the menu."

"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"

"About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home."