"I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure you’ll like it. So if you don’t want it just tell me and I’ll be happy to keep it. After all, I’m only interested in making you happy."
"My skull is soundproof. And thank God too, or else you’d be able to hear all the horrible things I’m thinking about you."
"Do I own my soul, or would two of my clones?"
"I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor."
"I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my soul, or essence, had left my body and went and inhabited the body of my clone. So I wasn’t in my body, and yet I was. Or maybe none of that happened, and I was just in a delirious, sleep-deprived state."
"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."