More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"Hoping to win the lottery to escape your existence is like waiting on a unicorn to give you a ride out of town. If you’re interested, I’m selling saddles."
"I want to sprint into her open arms, but I run as fast as two shoes tied together and thrown over a telephone wire. I’m like Roger Bannister, now that he’s in a wheelchair."
"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"