"I count as blessings things I could have benefited from, even if I neglected to utilize them. A gift is still a gift, even if left wrapped and unopened."
"The sunset sky fades from blue to orange over Gainesville, Florida, and what I lost is less than what I gained. I gained love, I lost love, and if could do it all again, I would."
"Trophies are clutter at best, and weapons at worst. I prefer my awards heavy and with handles."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"I got a zero. That’s like a perfect ten—it’s only one away from being flawless. Remember this next time you think you have nothing."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."