More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zero. Leave nothing to chance, by taking nothing with you wherever you go."
"If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs)."