"I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick."
"The scent of Florida honeysuckle uplifted in a spring breeze reminds me of your love, and how fresh it was until it blew past me into my past."
"Though my skull is the size of a soup bowl, everything in the universe—and more—can fit inside my imagination. And guess what? My imagination tastes like chicken noodle soup."
"You can use your mouth to speak the words I love you, or you can use your mouth to kiss me and transport love from your mind to my heart."
"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"I loved her, she loved him, and he loved himself. Now she loves me, he loves her, and I love myself as I am—without her in my life."