More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s the best place to hang a noose. More politicians need to be sticking their necks out for us."
"I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights."
"I can sell you wine and I can sell you flowers, but I can't sell you romance, because that comes from your heart, and it's free."
"I'm so popular in life that valets are already starting to park the cars lined up for my funeral, which is expected sometime late 2082. #OutBoastKanye"
"My I love you was a measured response, like one gallon of coffee in one cup of sugar. It was just overflowing with an awakening of my soul."