More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"A relationship is a sales process, and sometimes you must buy to sell, and when you sell it is to the benefit of both of you."
"I have studied the astrological musings of the mystics, and I can conclude one thing: of all things cosmic, bowling is the best."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"Mainstream news wants to keep you as a useful idiot. Instead, try being a non-useful idiot."