"I sympathize with a mother who has three mouths to feed—especially if two of those mouths are on her face. With a woman like that I’d listen twice as hard for doublespeak. I’m pretty accustomed to picking up on political rhetoric."
"I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller."
"I kissed a mystery, and it tasted like a woman. Lips are always full of delicious secrets."
"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."
"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."
"If I could convert books to wine, I’d start with The Grapes of Wrath. I’ve never read it, but maybe tonight I’ll be thirsty enough."