More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."
"I’m taller in tolerance than I am in height. Barely. I’m only 6’3, so I apologize for not being more understanding."
"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."