"I used to gorge on gorgeous women, but now I look for things that can’t be seen with the eyes, but are only detected by the heart. This is love."
"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"Is it better to be feared or loved? Loved, because people associate with you because they want to, not because they need to. We need to eat beets, but we want to eat cake. Be the cake of the world."
"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me."