"I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him."
"I want to scream sometimes, because I hate when people refer to a dead person as the “late” so and so. I’m sorry to break that bad news, but that person isn’t just late—they’re not even coming!"
"I want to write a book on sex. It will be filled with phrases like "Uuuhgh yeeeaaaah,"and "Ooooh that's it,"and "Whose hands are those?"
"I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red."
"I want to be a creature that’s half bee, half the letter B. That way I can pollinate the world with my literacy."
"I want to go to all the topless bars in America and try to sell every single one of them a roof."