"I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red."
"I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face."
"I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it."
"In a brave and noble way, I want to sacrifice my life one day so that two of my clones can live."
"I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him."
"I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it sounds sappy."